theafflicted | 05 - week five

05 - week five

WEEK FIVE

Come Sunday morning, the portals around Estelline fade away, but not all of the oddities hanging around disappear so quickly. The recreations of your dreams and memories are still around, ever changing and shifting. Whatever it is that brought these things here hasn’t ended, not yet.

You don’t have time to worry about all of that, though, even if you know you should exercise caution once two of you found yourselves on the bad end of a monster’s claws. The course still isn’t over, though, even if the portals changed lesson plans. Everything continues on, with new places to explore as the fog pushes back once again. This week still feels a little more like what you’re familiar with, though, after Saturday’s lack of lessons.

...For now.

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[ sorry but also not sorry for not answering the question the first time around because, well, did it really help? no. it didn't change what happened (probably). it was just for him. nevertheless, he gives ace a better answer this time. ]

If I had been there that day—would I have been able to do anything.

[ the things that keep him up at night even now, honestly. ]

I know there were others with me but, I know that it wouldn't have been completely pointless.

[ ...not that it actually makes him feel better yet also does. it's a weird thing. ]

[ he thinks about that and nods. ]

I know you regret it, but...

[ he pauses long enough to hook his pinky finger with sabo's as they walk. he doesn't acknowledge what he did there and just keeps walking. ]

We both have that regret of not saving one another. Sure, you didn't die... but for me, you had.

[ he looks around where they're walking, feeling very exposed right now. so many emotions. he knows he was asking sabo about how he felt, but it bridges into this just right. ]

We can change all of that now. We're both alive. You're not taking off on an adventure without me again.

[ sabo won't counter what ace says because it boils down to the same kind of argument. ace was a child—how in any world could he have done anything about the situation that sabo was in? he might not have known what dadan said, but it was the world itself that "killed" him.

much like how it was the world that truly killed ace. he really just says nothing for a bit and just quietly notices the way ace hooks his pinky. ]

Not right now I'm not. [ because who knows what will happen once this is all over. plenty of promises and words are being thrown around right now. ] There's the matter of what's going on right here that I want to help out with. I'm not going to ignore people who are trapped and have their freedoms restricted.

[ this much is very much true. sabo can't speak to a future—not under these circumstances. he'll only speak to the present. ]

[ there's a slow nod at that. he's not surprised that sabo can't look away from something like that. not with his family situation and the obvious want for freedom as he tried to escape. ]

Suppose you're right. We should focus on that part.

[ it does make him question if he should continue on this talk about the memories being conflicting now or not. he did get an important answer from sabo... so that's what matters, right? ]

[ unfortunately for ace, it's not just pain that's being shared but their emotions. and while it has been sabo to have been almost embarrassingly open with what he's feeling at any time, it doesn't mean ace is immune to it. he'll casually just kick at ace's ankles while they walk. ]

Say what it is that you really want to say, Ace.

[ might have been a "nicer" way to go about but it was more them this way. ]

There are no secrets between us, remember?

[ he frowns at that. no secrets, huh... ]

If there aren't secrets, why didn't you tell me about my devil fruit?

[ it might be weird with his memories, but he sure does remember seeing sabo turning himself into flames and sharing his own as sort of a heal or a boon to him.

it's annoying to think that sabo wouldn't tell him something that important. ]

[ ah.

well. hmm. he didn't see that one coming. ]

It's not like I hid it from you.

[ he just never brought it up in conversation. or made it a point of conversation. he's not about to say something as stupid as say that ace never asked so he never told but the sentiment is still there. ]

Then why didn't you tell me?

[ it seems like something he'd want to tell sabo right away, if their situations were reversed. but maybe that's just the way they operate. ]

It didn't seem to be as important compared to everything else at the time.

[ not to imply that it wasn't important but among all of the things that were happening around when they arrived and were adjusting to things... the devil fruit seemed to be at the low end of things. ]

[ he doesn't remove his hooked pinky from sabo, but does lift his other hand to lightly punch sabo's shoulder and sighs. he can't really argue that. it is a heavy topic, too. ]

I guess that's one hell of a way to reveal you've got it. [ a sigh. ] But you know, there's no one else I'd want to have my fruit.

[ luffy had his own tricks. somehow it feels right that sabo would take this mantle since he was alive. ]

Hope it's been treating you well.

[ he'll flinch but not because it actually hurts but more on reflex before smiling softly to himself. ]

That's what I figured as well. [ softly. ] I made sure to ask Luffy if it was okay for me to have it.

[ he'll bring up his free hand and look at it as though he had become accustomed to. of course, there is no flame that awaits him and it's just his gloved hand that he sees but he can still imagine it being there. ]

I had to spend a lot of time training myself with it, but it's been comforting to have. It's like you haven't left me.

There's no doubt he'd want you to have it. You're our brother, after all.

[ he almost finds it a little silly that sabo bothered to ask luffy about it. of course it would be sabo's and no one else's. but, it is the right thing to do. ]

I'm glad to hear that it's comforting. Being by your side... Like it was always meant to be.

I know, but I had been gone for so long and he also thought that I was dead. I didn't feel like I could have taken it without asking him first.

[ for all of sabo's bravado, he was still very anxious about it all. it's silly now to think about luffy ever being angry with sabo for waltzing into his life after over a decade asking to have ace's fruit... but he wouldn't have been surprised if luffy had been angry with him.

sometimes he wondered what kind of person he'd be without the kindness from luffy and ace. ]

You really did expect me to be your navigator, didn't you? Without even bother to ask me.

Always so polite.

[ it's not a dig at sabo. far from it. it's just how the other man had always been when they were young. well, not always polite, but certainly a lot more polite than him or luffy. it was where it counts.

and at that last part, he can't help but laugh a bit. ]

It's because I know you wouldn't have said no to me.

Says the person who needed someone to teach them manners.

[ which isn't really a dig at ace because, well, given his situation the fact that he wanted to learn how to be polite or better at speaking with people at all is important. sabo learned in part of being born as a noble. ]

But I could have! Maybe. I wanted to be captain too, you know.

[ just to be a brat. ]

Edited 2022-06-22 08:28 (UTC)

That was different!

[ he mainly wanted it to properly greet shanks anyway. all luffy's fault. his aim was to be a pirate, he didn't really care about manners before. but it does work for him, having some politeness. ]

I know, but...

[ he takes a couple quick steps in front of sabo, stopping him in his tracks and letting go of the pinky, for now. he stares at him with a determined expression. ]

Sabo, would you have been my navigator? Would you sail the seas by my side?

[ he knows that sabo can't think about that future and has his own things he needs to tackle. he didn't forget what they just talked about. but he wants him to suspend that just for a moment. just to answer this in a hypothetical moment.

he wants to know if sabo did want to stay by his side just as bad as he wanted sabo there. ]

[ why does this sound like a marriage proposal more than anything else? happy meme wedding?? happy pride??? shame that sabo doesn't quite see it as such but he does stop in his tracks and just kind of stare at ace for a moment to let it process. it's stupid to ask this of him now but.

with the way that ace is looking at him and how he says it. it's...cute. yeah, he'll let himself think of it like that and smile to himself just before he shakes his head. he no longer feels like an adult with so much on his shoulders as a burden he happily carries but almost back to being that carefree child on dawn island. ]

Asking me this now...

[ honestly. ]

No. [ firmly, but before ace can get a word in, he'll walk up to ace and place a hand on his hip while giving him a cheeky smile. ] I wouldn't just sail with you just as your navigator, stupid. I'd come along because I would have wanted to.

And if you would have let me also be captain. [ it honestly feels pretty painful to be saying this, but he'll allow it. it's fun to have the dream while he can. ] There's no rules saying there can't be two.

[ at the initial "no," he feels his heart sink. more than he expected.

but as sabo continues, he can't help but have a dumb grin across his face. it's true, pirates could make up rules of their own. they could form a crew however they wanted.

being sole captain wouldn't have been the most important thing to him, not when he could have sabo around to help him on his voyage. though, that does make him wonder... ]

How would we decide on things if we didn't agree? The usual way?

[ and by that he means, would they end up throwing fists and seeing who one that time, fair and square. whoever could get the best of the other that day won out. ]

But if it meant having you with me, yeah. We could do that.

[ it sure does sound like some kind of marriage proposal if they realized it. he reaches out to brush back some of sabo's hair from his forehead to get a clear look at his face. staring at him like this, he feels he should open up part of why he wanted to talk. ]

The me in that memory... I planned to never let you go after reuniting again. I was so confused why you knew I was questioning things about myself, but I didn't care. You and Luffy both have helped me realize something I should have a long time ago.

Demon blood, noble blood. None of that matters when I've got you at my back.

[ maybe somewhere in the back of sabo's mind he realizes that this is a bit more than what two "brothers" would be saying to one another. ace's gestures being a bit more intimate than familial. the words hurting him not because of the future that they didn't have and couldn't have but because of something else. nevertheless, he can't help but chuckle. ]

Maybe you should let me be right; I normally am.

[ not to sound like a wife, but you know. the (male)wife is always correct in an argument. (or so the saying goes, anyway.) subconsciously, he'll turn his face just so to obscure the left side of his face—it's entirely unintentional and something he isn't aware that he does. at the same time, he makes sure to not look away from ace's face either. ]

But good; I'm glad that something I said finally stuck with you. [ if he's a bit smug here then it's because he's totally a bit smug here. ] And I'm more than fine to say it as many times as you need as a reminder.

[ and even if ace doesn't need one presently, he does want to say it to this ace before him right now. ]

One of the reasons why I'm able to stand here today is because of you and our bond. If you weren't born then I would probably still be trapped in that cage suffocating and rotting away.

[ or having already died when he tried to escape. ]

[ there's a hint of a frown at sabo's words. normally he'd argue that point, but something about this moment seems almost fragile. so he'll keep it light and not heavily banter back. ]

We'd have to see about that.

[ he's tempted to have him look back, since he really doesn't feel like sabo has to hide his scar. then again, maybe he should be a little more modest about his own scarring on his body with the meaning it gives.

with sabo's reassuring words, he almost feels a bit self-conscious and embarrassed hearing it. if he had his hat, he might pull it down to obscure his face some. alas. ]

And I probably would have been all alone. So it's good we found each other.

[ considering there's a change that he might never have accepted luffy into his life without sabo there. he might have lead a very, very different life. letting resentment and isolation rule him. ]

We saved each other.

[ MAYBE HE SHOULD PUT ON A DAMN SHIRT IF HE FEELS THAT GUILTY ABOUT IT.

and if ace still has his hand on sabo's face then he'll casually just lean into the touch as he keeps smiling. it seems a bit too... ... ...something to so casually say that they saved one another but he can't deny it either. that day they met was the first day of their lives, honestly. neither one of them were really living up until that point and luffy just rounded them out. the realization (or acceptance) brings a pleasant warmth to his chest. ]

Maybe.

[ definitely. ]

Is there more on your mind, Ace?

[ IT'S A COMPLICATED FEELING. LET HIM LIVE HIS BEST TITS OUT LIFE.

he does keep his hand there, letting him lean into the touch and just watching him while he thinks about the question for a few moments. ]

I just wish I knew how to make you feel better about all this.

[ the regrets, mainly.

he steps a bit closer, bumping their foreheads together and closing his eyes. ]

Our bond was able to stop me. That I was able to listen to your words. I wanted to fight him with every fiber of my being, but you stopped me.

[ where luffy couldn't. ]

But I don't want that to become some kind of bigger regret.

[ CLEARLY SABO IS. but ace can't feel bad while doing so. he can't have it both ways!!!!

as ace says nothing, sabo will also say nothing and just quietly bask in whatever is currently existing between the two of them. it's not a feeling he has with luffy and not just because of the time they haven't spent with one another. it's always probably been like this.

unfortunately for ace as well is that sabo doesn't offer an answer to ace when he tells sabo about what he wishes he could do. he doesn't have an answer for that. was there even anything anyone could do? the most sabo ever hopes for is that he moves on from it. so, he responds to the part that he can speak to. ]

If things were a bit different, I would have wanted to do that too. I would have tried to tear him apart with everything that I'm made of.

[ sabo will bring his hand up between them as he turns his head to lean it against ace's, his temple pressed against ace's forehead, and flexes his fingers to take on the "claw"-like form he uses for his signature attacks. ]

I'll just have to settle for what I'm already doing. The effects of it are far less selfish and will help more people.

[ he can have it both ways. that's just how ace is. a fool, really.

and this does feel vastly different than what it is with luffy. he's always wanted to protect him and even in the end, when it was the reverse, when he was dying in luffy's arms, it never felt like this.

but he doesn't seem to mind. anyone else and he would have long since pulled away from any touch. he's not really the type to show this kind of intimacy freely. but being this emotional vulnerable lends itself to this kind of touch. ]

Will it help you, too?

[ because even if sabo doesn't plan to change what he's doing for the Greater Good, he can still ask these questions. still try to support sabo as he can, even if it's only here. ]

[ greedy, you mean.

but you know, for however long ace will want to keep up with this, sabo will be more than fine to indulge. he hasn't been adverse to the physical affections from another person as much as ace was. he also isn't as free with the affections as luffy is but luffy is an entirely different level. sabo has always been the "mild" middle ground of the two.

besides, he knows when something is special and will cherish it for as long as he can have it. you know, even if he doesn't quite connect all of the dots as to the deeper meaning behind all of it. ]

Do you think that it won't?

[ sincerely asked because, well, why would it not? sabo's known what it's like to be trapped surrounded by filth that suffocates you. he was able to see the cruelty of humanity and the world nobles first hand. the way the world kowtows before them. if he could dismantle that entire system—why wouldn't it help him? ]

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i spent too long trying to find an img to icon only to give up...

oh no, icon distress.. i know that pain

looks tiredly at my free time to come

gently pets you

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