theafflicted | 05 - week five

Always so polite.

[ it's not a dig at sabo. far from it. it's just how the other man had always been when they were young. well, not always polite, but certainly a lot more polite than him or luffy. it was where it counts.

and at that last part, he can't help but laugh a bit. ]

It's because I know you wouldn't have said no to me.

Says the person who needed someone to teach them manners.

[ which isn't really a dig at ace because, well, given his situation the fact that he wanted to learn how to be polite or better at speaking with people at all is important. sabo learned in part of being born as a noble. ]

But I could have! Maybe. I wanted to be captain too, you know.

[ just to be a brat. ]

Edited 2022-06-22 08:28 (UTC)

That was different!

[ he mainly wanted it to properly greet shanks anyway. all luffy's fault. his aim was to be a pirate, he didn't really care about manners before. but it does work for him, having some politeness. ]

I know, but...

[ he takes a couple quick steps in front of sabo, stopping him in his tracks and letting go of the pinky, for now. he stares at him with a determined expression. ]

Sabo, would you have been my navigator? Would you sail the seas by my side?

[ he knows that sabo can't think about that future and has his own things he needs to tackle. he didn't forget what they just talked about. but he wants him to suspend that just for a moment. just to answer this in a hypothetical moment.

he wants to know if sabo did want to stay by his side just as bad as he wanted sabo there. ]

[ why does this sound like a marriage proposal more than anything else? happy meme wedding?? happy pride??? shame that sabo doesn't quite see it as such but he does stop in his tracks and just kind of stare at ace for a moment to let it process. it's stupid to ask this of him now but.

with the way that ace is looking at him and how he says it. it's...cute. yeah, he'll let himself think of it like that and smile to himself just before he shakes his head. he no longer feels like an adult with so much on his shoulders as a burden he happily carries but almost back to being that carefree child on dawn island. ]

Asking me this now...

[ honestly. ]

No. [ firmly, but before ace can get a word in, he'll walk up to ace and place a hand on his hip while giving him a cheeky smile. ] I wouldn't just sail with you just as your navigator, stupid. I'd come along because I would have wanted to.

And if you would have let me also be captain. [ it honestly feels pretty painful to be saying this, but he'll allow it. it's fun to have the dream while he can. ] There's no rules saying there can't be two.

[ at the initial "no," he feels his heart sink. more than he expected.

but as sabo continues, he can't help but have a dumb grin across his face. it's true, pirates could make up rules of their own. they could form a crew however they wanted.

being sole captain wouldn't have been the most important thing to him, not when he could have sabo around to help him on his voyage. though, that does make him wonder... ]

How would we decide on things if we didn't agree? The usual way?

[ and by that he means, would they end up throwing fists and seeing who one that time, fair and square. whoever could get the best of the other that day won out. ]

But if it meant having you with me, yeah. We could do that.

[ it sure does sound like some kind of marriage proposal if they realized it. he reaches out to brush back some of sabo's hair from his forehead to get a clear look at his face. staring at him like this, he feels he should open up part of why he wanted to talk. ]

The me in that memory... I planned to never let you go after reuniting again. I was so confused why you knew I was questioning things about myself, but I didn't care. You and Luffy both have helped me realize something I should have a long time ago.

Demon blood, noble blood. None of that matters when I've got you at my back.

[ maybe somewhere in the back of sabo's mind he realizes that this is a bit more than what two "brothers" would be saying to one another. ace's gestures being a bit more intimate than familial. the words hurting him not because of the future that they didn't have and couldn't have but because of something else. nevertheless, he can't help but chuckle. ]

Maybe you should let me be right; I normally am.

[ not to sound like a wife, but you know. the (male)wife is always correct in an argument. (or so the saying goes, anyway.) subconsciously, he'll turn his face just so to obscure the left side of his face—it's entirely unintentional and something he isn't aware that he does. at the same time, he makes sure to not look away from ace's face either. ]

But good; I'm glad that something I said finally stuck with you. [ if he's a bit smug here then it's because he's totally a bit smug here. ] And I'm more than fine to say it as many times as you need as a reminder.

[ and even if ace doesn't need one presently, he does want to say it to this ace before him right now. ]

One of the reasons why I'm able to stand here today is because of you and our bond. If you weren't born then I would probably still be trapped in that cage suffocating and rotting away.

[ or having already died when he tried to escape. ]

[ there's a hint of a frown at sabo's words. normally he'd argue that point, but something about this moment seems almost fragile. so he'll keep it light and not heavily banter back. ]

We'd have to see about that.

[ he's tempted to have him look back, since he really doesn't feel like sabo has to hide his scar. then again, maybe he should be a little more modest about his own scarring on his body with the meaning it gives.

with sabo's reassuring words, he almost feels a bit self-conscious and embarrassed hearing it. if he had his hat, he might pull it down to obscure his face some. alas. ]

And I probably would have been all alone. So it's good we found each other.

[ considering there's a change that he might never have accepted luffy into his life without sabo there. he might have lead a very, very different life. letting resentment and isolation rule him. ]

We saved each other.

[ MAYBE HE SHOULD PUT ON A DAMN SHIRT IF HE FEELS THAT GUILTY ABOUT IT.

and if ace still has his hand on sabo's face then he'll casually just lean into the touch as he keeps smiling. it seems a bit too... ... ...something to so casually say that they saved one another but he can't deny it either. that day they met was the first day of their lives, honestly. neither one of them were really living up until that point and luffy just rounded them out. the realization (or acceptance) brings a pleasant warmth to his chest. ]

Maybe.

[ definitely. ]

Is there more on your mind, Ace?

[ IT'S A COMPLICATED FEELING. LET HIM LIVE HIS BEST TITS OUT LIFE.

he does keep his hand there, letting him lean into the touch and just watching him while he thinks about the question for a few moments. ]

I just wish I knew how to make you feel better about all this.

[ the regrets, mainly.

he steps a bit closer, bumping their foreheads together and closing his eyes. ]

Our bond was able to stop me. That I was able to listen to your words. I wanted to fight him with every fiber of my being, but you stopped me.

[ where luffy couldn't. ]

But I don't want that to become some kind of bigger regret.

[ CLEARLY SABO IS. but ace can't feel bad while doing so. he can't have it both ways!!!!

as ace says nothing, sabo will also say nothing and just quietly bask in whatever is currently existing between the two of them. it's not a feeling he has with luffy and not just because of the time they haven't spent with one another. it's always probably been like this.

unfortunately for ace as well is that sabo doesn't offer an answer to ace when he tells sabo about what he wishes he could do. he doesn't have an answer for that. was there even anything anyone could do? the most sabo ever hopes for is that he moves on from it. so, he responds to the part that he can speak to. ]

If things were a bit different, I would have wanted to do that too. I would have tried to tear him apart with everything that I'm made of.

[ sabo will bring his hand up between them as he turns his head to lean it against ace's, his temple pressed against ace's forehead, and flexes his fingers to take on the "claw"-like form he uses for his signature attacks. ]

I'll just have to settle for what I'm already doing. The effects of it are far less selfish and will help more people.

[ he can have it both ways. that's just how ace is. a fool, really.

and this does feel vastly different than what it is with luffy. he's always wanted to protect him and even in the end, when it was the reverse, when he was dying in luffy's arms, it never felt like this.

but he doesn't seem to mind. anyone else and he would have long since pulled away from any touch. he's not really the type to show this kind of intimacy freely. but being this emotional vulnerable lends itself to this kind of touch. ]

Will it help you, too?

[ because even if sabo doesn't plan to change what he's doing for the Greater Good, he can still ask these questions. still try to support sabo as he can, even if it's only here. ]

[ greedy, you mean.

but you know, for however long ace will want to keep up with this, sabo will be more than fine to indulge. he hasn't been adverse to the physical affections from another person as much as ace was. he also isn't as free with the affections as luffy is but luffy is an entirely different level. sabo has always been the "mild" middle ground of the two.

besides, he knows when something is special and will cherish it for as long as he can have it. you know, even if he doesn't quite connect all of the dots as to the deeper meaning behind all of it. ]

Do you think that it won't?

[ sincerely asked because, well, why would it not? sabo's known what it's like to be trapped surrounded by filth that suffocates you. he was able to see the cruelty of humanity and the world nobles first hand. the way the world kowtows before them. if he could dismantle that entire system—why wouldn't it help him? ]

[ okay, well, yeah. that, too.

it's a wonder how long he'll be leaning into this affection like this. but given that no one is around to see it does help. (aside from whatever is observing them.) ]

I just have to ask.

[ he wants to make sure that sabo isn't completely putting himself last. having some goal and wanting to better the world is great, but forgetting himself isn't. ]

[ it's fine to be greedy about a few things or everything if you're, you know, a pirate.

it probably also is a bit strange to be standing around and doing this in the middle of the courtyard. there are benches that they could sit on and still do this sort of thing. maybe. the thought might cross sabo's mind eventually, especially since he isn't doing much with his hands as they fall to his side. ]

It will, Ace. [ softly with some humor. ] Even if this kills me.

[ because it would have been worth it. obviously he has no plans of dying, but he's putting his life into this cause. just as ace won't run away from a fight once he's started one, sabo won't do things in halves. ]

[ it suits him well, then.

as long as no one is looking at them, ace doesn't really think about the location or if it's a little weird. who cares about being proper. ]

I'll make sure it doesn't.

[ does he mean he'll be with him? or does he mean the flame that carries on his will? it's hard to say. either way, he wants sabo knowing he's got his back in the fight. ]

[ AT LEAST THEY COULD BE SITTING...

and you know, if ace isn't putting too much stock into it then sabo isn't either. mainly because there's nothing wrong happening here? hard to say if he would be embarrassed if someone approached them while they were like this or not. (mainly because it's ace who is the one who is doing the touching...) ]

Will you now? [ a soft chuckle. it's a bit of a bittersweet one, but he is appreciative of it. ] Thanks Ace.

[ in sabo's mind, it will be the "ace" that he has grown accustomed to—the flame that he has become. the will that he has inherited and will carry out. the ace that stands before him is someone he wants, but he knows better. whatever promise he was made at the very beginning isn't meant to be taken down in any further value.

and god. what the fuck is he supposed to do with his idle hands?? ]

[ BUT THEY'RE NOT...

yeah, it's really good no one is coming upon this scene, since it would likely end very promptly. ace really isn't thinking about it being embarrassing or not, just kind of rolling with what feels right. ]

Of course. We'll always be together.

[ honestly, he doesn't know what he's to do after this. if he goes back to his time, he's just going to be killed again, most likely. or maybe he'd survive? it's hard to say. things are so up in the air of what would happen now that he's alive again.

hands are always a problem. ]

[ WHY CAN'T THEY?

and while ace's words are touching, they're also still very bittersweet and painful to hear. if only because...well. ]

I'd prefer it if it was like this. [ looks like someone figured out what to do with his hands. and before sabo says anything else, he places the palm of his left hand to the center of ace's chest scar. he doesn't mean to bring focus to it and he hasn't brought it up ever but it was out of politeness.

if ace ever thought for a moment that sabo didn't notice it then he really is an idiot. stupider than even luffy. ] Having you here and being able to talk to you with you being able to respond to me.

[ because even if ace existed within the flame he inherited, he couldn't touch ace like this. he wouldn't be able to hear ace's reactions or see them. being with someone was important but being with someone is irreplicable. ]

[ THEY COULD, if sabo really wants to.

there's a small breath that ace takes in when sabo touches his chest like that. it's an odd sensation and he has no idea what it means. ]

Can't it be?

[ yeah, they talked about focusing on the now and not what's to come, but sometimes... what's to come of their future is also important, okay. they can still figure out the present while talking hypotheticals once this is done. ]

I don't have to just be a flame, do I?

[ unless sabo thinks he can't come back like that. if things would be too complicated for him to be there. ]

[ eventually then but not right now as sabo is going to derail by what ace brings up. sabo is pretty confident that ace is referring to the present him being able to come home(?) with him but, would that be okay? could that even happen? the ace before him is dead.

dead but also somehow alive—breathing, speaking, laughing, and eating with him. doing all of the things he would be doing if he was actually alive. a living presence that he's touching (and touching him) presently. ]

Huh?

[ so, no, he is not considering ace being able to come back simply because he changed things up in a memory. after all, how would that even work? ]

Well... I was thinking. Where else am I going to go after this?

[ since he'll be alive, from what sabo told him. unless the idea is that he should stay here or go back to face his death again, potentially. ]

Unless that thing isn't possible.

[ maybe he was misunderstanding something? maybe he has to go back from the exact moment he left. ]

[ ah.

sabo sure did tell him that but seemingly a lot has happened since then and sabo isn't trusting whatever lorelei told him at the beginning. (there's a lot that he is no longer sure about—it part of the reason why he wants to figure out what's going on here.) however, if there was anything that he wanted to be true it would be this. at the same time, all words die on his tongue and he looks a bit distressed if not lost longer than he'd like.

he could have everything he wanted. (what is it that he wanted?) ]

I...

[ his voice trails. the way his voice trails and lacks the ability to say anything is uncharacteristic of him. he's normally so confident in what he says and how he acts, but not right now. he's unsure and finds himself focusing his attention on ace's scar. his fingers caressing it slightly. ]

I wouldn't know what it would mean if you did.

[ ... ]

If that was possible.

[ there's a subtle shiver that runs down his spine from that caressing sabo does. it is a pretty major idea. it could be a huge upset for everything, if it's even possible. ]

So you think I shouldn't try?

[ sabo was always more of the brains of the operation, he'd have a better answer to all of it. he'd be able to think up all the hypotheticals. ]

[ just because he was normally the brains of an operation doesn't mean he's infallible, or able to always think things through logically and objectively. honestly, he's more often than not thinking things in a very selfish way. kind of like he is right now. of course, the first thing he thinks of is luffy.

what would happen with luffy if ace never returned? what would that do? he couldn't ever do anything that would sadden luffy. not to mention what about the him that exists in the world that ace knows? unless...the ace before him is the same ace that died in his version and nothing would change. well. not nothing as he would have ace with him.

he thinks and thinks and thinks....(the answer is easy. right? he knows what he wants.) and the silence that grows from sabo's lack of ability to give ace an answer feels uncomfortable and he lowers his head so he can rest it on ace's shoulder. ]

I won't say that.

[ the answer is whatever needs to be done so that you live. ]

I'd never say that.

[ he brings his hand up to rest on the back of sabo's head, holding him there. this isn't an easy topic and he knows it. but it's still something that should be talked about eventually.

and even if they changed things in a memory, it doesn't mean that things were actually changed. it's only in ace's mind that things were altered. and he knows that feeling of living past that day... and he doesn't want to let it end there.

he wants to be selfish and continue on. sail the world with sabo by his side. he knows he has things to accomplish and do, but after that, he should be able to live his life. and he wants to be there to assure he has that future. ]

Then maybe we could do that.

[ what would happen if there are two people that have the fire fruit? would they both be able to keep it? would they be tied together and able to use it more easily in tandem? would their wills end up overlapping...? ]

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i spent too long trying to find an img to icon only to give up...

oh no, icon distress.. i know that pain

looks tiredly at my free time to come

gently pets you

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