02.50 - week two, saturday

[afflictionmods]

W2 SATURDAY

Like last Saturday, everyone will get an announcement on their tablets; this time, the announcement is preceded with a bell of some sort before Lorelei appears on the screen again.

"Good morning, everyone. This is an announcement to let you know that today's lesson will take place starting at 8:15 tonight. Again, today's lesson will be starting at 8:15. Please meet at the lower campus exit near the lecture by 8:00pm; Florence will be waiting for you there.

If you have a bag for some snacks and, perhaps, an item you can use for self-defense in the case of an emergency, please arrive with those things on you. We will provide you with an overview of what to expect when you arrive at 8pm.

Thank you."

The alert ends.

You have the day to prepare, ask each other what the hell is happening -- Florence and Lorelei do not seem to be available, strangely enough. There's a lot to take in with the information you have now. But before you know it... night falls.

FULL NAV

(CODE)

Comments

[catarou]

[ Gentaro's usually more alert and cautious than this, but it's difficult when he swears he sees someone he recognizes. It isn't possible. It shouldn't be possible. Rationally, Gentaro knows this is a falsehood and something meant to catch him off-guard to do... something. He is aware of this, and yet...

It does catch him off-guard to see that shock of pink hair, lollipop in hand, and Gentaro freezes the moment its gaze falls on him. It draws closer, and by the time he realizes this is not one of the people he cares for most in the world, it's too late. He doesn't even catch on to the other spirit that's been nearby. Intertwined with that deep, powerful resentment toward everyone and everything is something Gentaro feels so very often. He knows and accepts this: The world is a cruel, terrible place; why should he bother trying to connect when it will end terribly for him, like it always does? Now, in this moment, he's never hated it more.

Usually, Gentaro's expressing is calm, almost unreadable for the most part. He's had his moments here, but those are rather out of the ordinary. Anyone who stumbles across him now, though, will be met with a cold, near-hostile look. ]

May I help you? [ he asks, both mocking and indifferent. ]

[partymagician]

[ Well! He certainly isn’t used to this from Gentaro. Fai almost takes a step back. ]

Ah… I’m alright. Are you…?

[catarou]

Would you prefer if I said I were alright?

[ He fixes Fai with that cold look, then lets out a quiet laugh. It doesn't sound nice at all. ]

What a ridiculous question.

[partymagician]

[ Ugh. Even more unsettling.

But Fai tries to balance it out with the niceness he’s always shown Gentaro. The sort of lightheartedness all of their interactions have had so far. ]

I guess it is! Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong then?

[catarou]

[ It's not at all Fai's fault that Gentaro's eyes narrow. It's not his fault, but even if Gentaro realizes that, all those nasty, messy feelings he tries to choke down have risen to the surface. ]

I think not. [ He spreads his hands in front of him, palms outward. ] The offer is kind, but it will do no good in the end. Forging connections, opening up to people, looking toward a brighter future-- All of that can be broken as if made of brittle glass.

If I were to crack open my chest and bear the weight that presses down upon my heart, it would do no good in the end. You could so very easily reach in and crush it until nothing remains.

[partymagician]

[ You know... he understands that feeling. He feels it deep, deep down in his chest. Why have connects when you could be hurt, or even worse, hurt them instead?

However... ]

Or, you could see someone start to open up and smile a little more because you showed them care. You could see them grow confident in themselves and learn to enjoy life.

[ ... ]

Connections aren't one-sided. You miss out on seeing the good that you can do for others, even if the possibility of being hurt is still there.

[catarou]

[ ...

In his current state, that does nothing to assuage his resentment. Later, he will remember those words and know how true they are. But now-- now, he isn't rational or willing to entertain the idea, even if he's seen it with his own eyes. Gentaro is a stubborn man, especially when caught up in messy, complicated emotions. ]

"Could" is not enough. What could happen is never a guarantee. The good things that could happen are so very often impossible, as I have seen myself.

[ His cold expression holds, if a bit tighter and more chilling. But there's a look in his eyes that's downright vicious. ]

You have been hurt, hm? Was it because you clung so tightly to the possibilities that you could not see the most probable result? I was once like that. Those connections I chased so desperately only resulted in derision from those to whom I extended my hand.

[partymagician]

[ He hates this, mostly because he has struggled with those same things and often still feels them.

It's strange having to talk to someone else with those same feelings. He's been turned on so many times in his life, all for a variety of reasons. And even though he thinks most of those reasons were his fault... ]

Doesn't loneliness only magnify the pain you've experienced from others?

[catarou]

Why should it?

[ It's an automatic reply, practiced and too even. ]

Loneliness is far more preferable to allowing myself to feel more pain. I am not unused to being lonely. It is simply the way things must be.

[ It's a convincing lie... but his profile doesn't back that up.

Likes: His Posse. ]

[goodfaiths]

[ Pre-possession, Riku is making an attempt to help others who seem to be having trouble. He's talked to ghosts before, he's got this, and seeing Gentaro like this is unsettling. But he'd like to help. ]

Gentaro-san...how are you feeling?

oh no

[catarou]

[ Unfortunately, even Riku is not immune to being on the other side of Gentaro's hostility. He studies Riku carefully, almost too carefully. ]

Your kindness and sincerity will only lead to loss and suffering, you know.

[ That's not answering the question... or maybe it is. ]

[goodfaiths]

Well...maybe, but... I know this isn't you, Gentaro-san. It's okay, just talk to me! Tell me about how you're feeling?

[ He's got this, he thinks! ]

[catarou]

And what do you truly know about me?

[ Today, the mask has slipped more than he'd ever want it to. Not even Dice and Ramuda have seen this side of him, aside from fleeting and rare moments. It's unpleasant, but at least Riku isn't dealing with that resentment, but a bluntness born from needing Riku to understand that not hardening one's heart will lead only to pain.

... ]

Extending this understanding to someone who does not deserve it will do you no good.

[goodfaiths]

I don't think I have to really know you that well to help. I have fans back at home, and even though I don't really know them, I'd do the same for them, too.

[ ... ]

But...I don't think it's about deserving. I think it's about helping a friend.

[catarou]

[ ......

Gentaro lets out a deep, bone-tired sigh. ]

It is unwise to declare a near-stranger your friend, especially in a place such as this. Stressful situations bond people together quickly, but that makes those bonds easier to break.

[goodfaiths]

Oh, well... I think it does, but it can also make them stronger. If you get through hard situations together, you can get closer from it.

[ He's a little sad that Gentaro's saying these things, but he also knows it's mostly the ghost talking. Riku holds out a hand towards him. ]

So, let's work through it, okay?

[catarou]

[ ......

The offer nearly does him in. The moment of hesitation passes as quickly as it had come, and Gentaro crosses his arms over his chest. It's a protective gesture, because in the end, that's who Gentaro is. He fiercely protects those who he cares for, and protects himself from the world and everything awful and cruel.

... Maybe in this way, he's trying to protect Riku from the sort of person Gentaro is. ]

Your help would be much better off given to someone else. Someone who has not given up on relying on others.

[ It's the ghost talking, because Gentaro knows full well he hasn't. ]

[sicklysweet]

Ah?

[Well, now. Isn't this curious. The little author that's like one centimeter shorter than Owen looks angry.

It's an interesting change, and it makes him want to find out why.]

You might be able to.

[He leans in close, eyes bright.]

All I want to know is why you look so angry, right now?

[catarou]

[ Oh, it's this fuckin guy.

Gentaro stiffens, and his eyes narrow at how close Owen is. Boldly, he places his palm against Owen's chest and pushes him back with more force than one would assume Gentaro is capable of. ]

Why, it is your very presence that infuriates me so.

[sicklysweet]

[Things have gone from normal to horny real fast, huh? How many times is Owen going to get shoved around before this game is over?]

I didn't realize I had such a sway over you.

[He seems delighted by the aggression, but that's because he's got problems.]

[catarou]

[ lavender i hate him ]

Ah, but that is far from flattery. Really, the only time you even occupy my thoughts is when you have the audacity to approach me.

It seems I am the one who has a sway over you. After all... I've taken an interest in you, so I want to see you at your best. I was not the one who admitted that, if you have forgotten.

[sicklysweet]

[you say this, and yet]

It's pretty presumptuous that interest means you've got any hold on me. Besides, there's a lot of people here who are interesting. You humans are all so different from the ones I know.

[He tests Gentaro's strength, seeing if he can wiggle away. He is... not trying very hard, admittedly.]

[catarou]

Yet you are the one who keeps finding me.

[ .......

He senses he has made a mistake and immediately lets go. ]

Of course, that only backs up the fact that you are a terribly lonely person.

[sicklysweet]

[Is it really a mistake to pin a pretty man against a wall?

Absolutely, when Owen is involved, but still.]

I'm still in the habit of finding people, even when I don't need to. What do they say - old habits die hard?

[catarou]

[ If Owen's personality wasn't........... Like This. ]

So they do. [ .... ] Is it also a habit to be intentionally unpleasant? Or is that simply your state of being? A way to push people away so you won't get hurt?

You've lived so very long. Does it not get exhausting, to push away everyone who might care for you and for whom you might care? If you wear a mask for so long, it's bound to become the truth.