theafflicted | 02.50 - week two, saturday

02.50 - week two, saturday

W2 SATURDAY

Like last Saturday, everyone will get an announcement on their tablets; this time, the announcement is preceded with a bell of some sort before Lorelei appears on the screen again.

"Good morning, everyone. This is an announcement to let you know that today's lesson will take place starting at 8:15 tonight. Again, today's lesson will be starting at 8:15. Please meet at the lower campus exit near the lecture by 8:00pm; Florence will be waiting for you there.

If you have a bag for some snacks and, perhaps, an item you can use for self-defense in the case of an emergency, please arrive with those things on you. We will provide you with an overview of what to expect when you arrive at 8pm.

Thank you."

The alert ends.

You have the day to prepare, ask each other what the hell is happening -- Florence and Lorelei do not seem to be available, strangely enough. There's a lot to take in with the information you have now. But before you know it... night falls.

FULL NAV

(CODE)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

i.
[He can run, boy can he run, and he doesn't bother hiding. In fact, he's not menaced by them at all, at first. Madara's first instinct, once he realizes what's going on, is to help. So if someone is acting strangely, and there isn't another ghost around, he'll do his utmost to get the person's attention.]

Heeey... you wanna reconsider that?

ii. [blanket cw: self-loathing that could lead to worse, potential violence]
[But playing the hero when he isn't one--will never be one--is his downfall. He wants to save every last person here, even if he knows it's impossible odds. And that's when a ghost sinks its claws in.

It happens twice. First, inadequacy attacks, and sees Madara staring into the nearest reflective surface, fingers tracing its curves around the distortion of his face. He's not even trying to save anyone now, as his shoulders shake in a near-silent laugh.]

This is how I go, then...

iii. [blanket cw: intense self-loathing, potential violence, family issues]
[Later, once that's escaped, abandonment manages to get him in its clutches. He stalks down the halls, silently seething, until he sees a fellow coursemate. With a firm grip on their shoulder, he spins them around, shakes them, and says through gritted teeth:]

Did you think you could just leave me?

( she'd been searching him out ever since her encounter with hien- or, no. that's not quite right. she's been trying to find him since before that, when they somehow got split up in the chaos of the attacks to begin with and ever since. but somehow despite this, he's gotten the drop on her and her relief is palpable in how her shoulders fall and her eyes almost start to tear up with a smile- except. he's... angry.

... what is he- oh no.

okay. no. she can do this. she talked down idia, talked down hien- she can do this. just stay calm. )

I've been looking for you everywhere, Madara. I'm so glad you found me...

[It isn't rational, but it cuts all the more deeply that it was Shizuku he sees as having left him. If she doesn't need him, no one needs him. No one wants him. And he's furious. Everyone back home deserted him, too. Kanata has Chiaki, his sister gave him up, his parents turned him out... And now her, his shining light, his hope.

When did she become this important?

His voice is low, dangerous, as he backs her against the wall with that guiding hand on her shoulder.]

Found you? I barely found you because you ran off and left me. But that's how people like you work, isn't it? You look at the people who try to help you and you eventually figure out they're beneath you, so you look down on them and crush them under your heel. And you do it with a sweet, innocent smile. Like an angel to everyone else. Like hell've you been looking for me. I was looking for you. You were trying to get away from me, weren't you? You were going to abandon me here and save yourself. I can't say I'm surprised. It's how it always goes. Just when I thought I could trust you. I thought you were different.

I-

( it's not him. it's not really him, but it stings so much-- and how he's pushing her is frightening- even if she wanted to run, she couldn't. what does she do? will he listen to what she has to say? )

Don't say that, Madara... It could never be true. When those things made me feel nothing, it was thinking of you that brought me back.

( ~~hien's~~ threat lingers in her mind- "maybe i'll start with his legs first so he can't get away." she blinks back tears. --focus, shizuku. gently, she lays one hand over the one on her shoulder, soft and soothing, looking him in the eyes. )

Every moment my mind's been clear, you're all I wanted to find. I swear.

[Thinking of him brought her back? Brought her back from what? What things? He's so single-mindedly obsessed with having been alone that he doesn't process that.

But her hand touching his melts his heart for a moment. Maybe he's not alo--no. He can't let himself be tricked. After all, a girl like her could never care about a guy like him.

His other hand slaps to the wall near her head.]

Why should I believe you? No one needs me. You're going to leave me, too. Everyone I try to help throws me in the trash sooner or later.

( he faltered- even for a moment, it's progress. she tries not to flinch at the sudden movement, boxed in as she is. )

I do need you, though. I- why do you think I tried so hard to get you to sleep in our room? I want you there- I need you there. Anyone else wouldn't do.

( maybe feeding the ghoul is a bad idea? but... even if it's that monster making him this aggressive. does he really feel like this? about others? about her? shizuku reaches up and cups his face, brushing a thumb against his cheek. as she speaks, her voice is soft and low like a whisper, for just the two of them. )

I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't mean to leave your side... I'm not going to leave you again, not of my own free will. I promise.

Edited 2022-06-06 05:20 (UTC)

Nobody here has even tried to get to know me. And you know what? It's better that way. The sooner they see what I am, the sooner you'll look like an idiot for trusting me, and we can't have that.

[He laughs, but a shake creeps into his voice. Her hands feel... nice. Warm. Familiar, though they shouldn't. He stumbles into the next section of the tirade.]

Imagine what they'll say! Poor Shizuku, with her awful partner. Poor Shizuku, who shouldn't have to sleep near a monster. Poor Shizuku, always being let down... Isn't it funny? I'm so used to it I don't even care anymore. I should've gone through with asking for the partner swap. Can't leave if I leave first...

( --partner swap? he...

tried to leave her.

... did last week even matter, then? or... ...

if she asks about 'what' he is, would it help? or would it be learning a secret while he's in no state to be telling them? would that hurt him more? )

Look at me, Madara. I'm here. I'm still here. I want to be. You're upset, and you've got every right to be- but I'm here now. So please, let me help. You don't have to shoulder it all. What you've done... what you're feeling. Let me carry some of it too.

[He tried to leave her so she'd be with someone better. He had it all figured out. Put him with someone horrible because he's horrible; put her with someone safe. But it didn't work out, so he's left with this. And left revealing this in the worst of times.

He finally looks at her, really looks, and what he sees twists something up inside of him in the worst way possible. What is he saying?]

Shizuku...?

[Like he's not sure this is really happening. And after a moment, when he feels the depth of what he's been saying:]

Why would you help me?

Because I care about you, silly.

( no hesitation, no trying to bargain with the beast possessing him. just a simple, affectionate truth. she presses her hand against his cheek a little firmer before moving into his hair, pulling him a little closer. )

You're very dear to me. I wanted to respect your privacy because... I got the feeling you didn't want to talk about yourself. But I want to know you. And I want to help you, like you've protected me.

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[ Gentaro's dealt with more than his share of possessions, so when he's suddenly grabbed and shaken, it doesn't improve his mood. But he knows people aren't themselves, so he doesn't react with anger.

That won't help anything, after all. After he says his piece, Gentaro pulls Madara's hand off his shoulder with a gentle but firm grip. ]

Not at all. We are all in this together.

[Madara's grip is firmer, but he relents and even pulls his hand away.]

Are we? You don't know me from the next guy. You probably don't even know my name.

Mikejima Madara, is it not?

[ It's true, Gentaro doesn't know him. But it doesn't change that he doesn't want to abandon him. They're in the same boat. ]

We are... "coursemates," so of course we're in this together. Even if we're not acquainted, that does not mean I would so willingly leave you behind.

So you're more interested in helping me than saving your own neck?

[Doubt.]

Edited 2022-06-06 04:31 (UTC)

[ Well... Gentaro has to admit that if it came down to it, he'd prioritize himself. He's not a saint, after all, and people back home very much depend on him. ]

In a situation like this, certainly. There are far more dangerous ones, after all.

[Doubt doubt doubt.]

And so what if it's not dangerous? Might get dangerous any minute now. And then what?

[Oh, jeez, staring into a reflective surface and mumbling? That's a horror movie red flag. No, thanks!]

[... is what he wants to say but, well, he did promise Shizuku that he would try and help out. And, and certainly, this would be one of their mutual acquaintances that he couldn't just- leave- right? A- Alright! ganbaidia!]

M- ... [y- you can do it, idia]

M- M- [muster your courage, idia!]

... you, [NAME FAILURE] c- come on, even if you're an idol you shouldn't be out in the open right now...

[he tugs at Madara's sleeve, like that will be enough to get him away from the mirror]

[Madara looks down at the hand touching his sleeve, brow furrowing. When he speaks, his tone is low, dull.]

Ah. Sorry about that. But you can just leave me here.

[... ... ...]

U-Um. [... ... ...]

N- No, I- ... don't think I can. Also sorry.

[Sorry, fate's dictating he be an annoying fan that can't read the room-!!]

Sorry?

[Weird... They're both just apologizing. Madara thinks that's funny, and offers a hollow, quiet chuckle.]

Look, I know when I'm beat... You should go. Maybe if they all go for me, the rest of you can... make it a little further.

[Well, he can't be impolite... to an idol.]

... eh, what's that sort of mentor-character dialogue...

[Look, he's taking up no one's mantle, so no one's allowed to say that they'll hold them back so the rest of them can get a little further! S- So, what does he say, what does he say...]

... u- um... How- [in character, Idia, in character]

How can you say you're beat when you're s- still standing?!

[He manages it with surprising firmness. Come on, Tropes, he can do this!]

[He should know better than to say things like this. It's not like they'll help. He'll be abandoned, regardless of what he does. Because he isn't enough. Because there's nothing that can be done to make him more. He should stick to what he knows.

But Idia's hero-like line makes Madara's head turn, and he looks at him with blurry vision.]

Still... standing, huh...

[He's listening.]

[Yosh! He got him to look away from the mirror a little!]

Th- That's right! It's one thing i- if every ounce of your energy were gone b- but you're still standing!

[He reaches out and- gingerly grabs Madara's hand. He had to appeal to him as a hero and an idol, so he holds the other's hands like this is a meet-and-greet in a haunted museum.]

A- And you've still got plenty to do, right?! L- Like another performance!

[How long has it been since he's had a proper meet and greet? It feels like forever, even though it's only been months... How long since people lined up to see him? He can't remember right now, though it's fuzzy on the edges of his memory.

He's still standing. After everything. After Kanata. After Eichi. After his family. He's still standing. The sentiment echoes in his head and distorts, reminding him of his reality outside of this. He has to perform again. This hero speech is working; the delivery reminds him of--]

Chiaki?

[No. No, Chiaki is red. Kanata is blue.

And suddenly he's back in Rio, in borrowed purple, helplessly watching as they tear Kanata proverbially to shreds a million miles away.

He grips the hand holding his.]

Sorry... I can't save anybody.

[Uwah... he felt like he was making progress but then suddenly it seemed like a backlash happened? Was it because he hit an HP threshold? F- Focus, Idia, focus! Any bossfight was going to have a few wrenches thrown in it to test your build!]

[... and a real gamer could power through with a niche build just by paying attention to mechanics!]

[(Hey, Idia, isn't this supposed to be about emotional connection? Idia??)]

Eh? What kind of talk is that? Even in a group of 50+ people, the great thing about idols is...

[grip]

Even if you were the idol ranked 50 out of 50, that's still someone's fav! Someone's only waking up because they're thinking that their fav is trying their hardest, too!