week 2 ~*afterparty*~

[escardos]

[ well, after everyone had their encounter either ghostbusting or being ghostbusted, and once returned to the campus, flat thinks that it's a great idea to wind down with-- ]

I FOUND A BOOTLEG COPY OF THE SHREK MOVIE. LET'S WATCH IT @ THE KARAOKE PLACE! BRING YOUR OWN SNACKS!!!!

[ hopefully it's not too cramped, but repurposing a tablet to project estelletube 'jim shrok FULL MOVIE part 1 of 20' is not that difficult of a task for flat.

he's managed to bring some popcorn, but that's about it.

rest up everyone, it's been a long day.

(for ya'll. flat had fun.) ]

Comments

[partymagician]

...I don't know.

[ His shoulders slump ever so slightly. ]

[selfconcept]

Then can you come here?

[ Hien is half expecting Fai to reject him, but he asks anyway. Come to the bed. ]

[partymagician]

[ Honestly, Fai is at a total loss for what he wants to do, so he does walk over to Hien's bed.

He doesn't climb into it, though. ]

What is it?

[selfconcept]

[ He pats down on the space next to him on the bed. ]

[partymagician]

[ Fai gets up onto the bed, not sitting as relaxed as he's used to. He stares down at his hands in his lap. ]

...I'm sorry. I did a terrible job trying to save you.

[selfconcept]

[ ...

Hien reaches out with both hands and pulls Fai onto the space next to him. His arms wrap around him like a hug, depending if he falls or remains sitting. ]

It's fine. I'm usually not meant to be saved. I hurt you a lot too. I'm sorry.

[partymagician]

It didn't hurt that badly. I'll heal from it just fine. Besides, you have worse injuries than I do.

[ Is he going to pretend like Hien only meant physical pain? He sure as hell is. ]

I know you were possessed. It's not your fault.

[selfconcept]

[ ...

He hugs Fai tighter. ]

I meant emotionally, stupid. I saw that look on your face.

[partymagician]

[ He finally looks up at Hien and smiles.

It's fake. Very, very fake. ]

You weren't wrong, you know. I guess that's why I was so surprised.

[ He pauses. ]

Like I said, I'll be fine. I've heard much worse.

[selfconcept]

[ Hien frowns and tries to hug Fai even tighter. ]

Don't be a fucking clown about it then. You'll end up being the entire circus.

[partymagician]

What else am I supposed to do?

[ If he lets himself hurt, then he won't stop. ]

[selfconcept]

You told me to let myself feel because I lived for so long. I could say the same for you.

[ So he just shoves Fai down if he isn't on his back already and hovers over him with his hands on each side of Fai's head. ]

If it'll hurt, then it'll hurt. But I'll be the one to save you this time.

[ ... ]

I'll save you.

[partymagician]

[ Fai stares up at Hien, the surprise he's feeling evident on his face.

He... he doesn't know what to say. After all, what do you say when you finally hear what you've always wanted to hear? ]

Why? I don't understand.

[selfconcept]

You can understand later.

[ That it's because he actually is starting to have feelings for Fai? Perhaps. It's still hard to feel it strongly, but it's something.

Screaming about his circumstances still has him reeling even after several hours of sleep. Being emotional... is tiring. ]

[partymagician]

[ He reaches up, lightly gripping Hien's sweater. It's soft. ]

At least... let me help you. If you won't let me do everything alone, then you can't expect me to let you do that either.

[selfconcept]

I'm not stopping you.

[ He gives Fai a small kiss on the forehead and goes to lie back down on the bed. He's tired. ]

[partymagician]

[ He flops down right next to Hien. ]

Good.

[ Fai pauses, looking at Hien for a while. ]

...The reason why you were so sore when we arrived is because a person that I've come to see as a son had taken me down.

[selfconcept]

I'm surprised that you didn't feel betrayed.

[ He wraps his arms around Fai again. ]

[partymagician]

How could I? It was out of his control.

[ He pauses, gathering his thoughts. ]

...Syaoran is a clone. His purpose is to gather feathers for his princess, Sakura. Nothing else matters outside of that goal. However, over time he started to grow his own soul, become his own person.

[ Fai closes his eyes, letting out a breath. ]

It was time for his soul to go away, but I didn't want that to happen. So... against my better judgement, I tried to bind it to him.

[selfconcept]

Then he reacted badly to it?

[ Wow. Can't believe clones are husks that eventually form souls. ]

cw eye scream

[partymagician]

I was too late. He had already changed. He... wasn't the Syaoran I've come to care for. So when he realized what I was doing, he knocked me down.

[ Fai pauses again. ]

He said he needed my magic and that he was going to take it. [ ... ] My magic is concentrated in my eyes. I left before he could do anything.

[ He shakes his head. ]

I can't fight him, Hien. I can't do it. I'll probably die from the shock when I go back.

cw suicidal ideation

[selfconcept]

Do you wanna die from that?

[ He thinks that tracks, given what they talked about earlier. ]

cw suicidal ideation

[partymagician]

At first, I did. I fully accepted the likelihood of dying.

[ ... ]

But now that I've had time away from it, I don't know. I've wanted to die for so long that I don't know what to do now that I'm not sure. Funny how that works, isn't it?

cw suicidal ideation

[selfconcept]

This is what you call "taking time away to get a clear head", so stop thinking that you wanna die. Stupid.

[ Hmph. ]

cw suicidal ideation

[partymagician]

It's not that easy, Hien. I've wanted to die ever since I was a child. I can't magically think differently.

[ But is he starting to work on some of those thoughts? Yes. ]