week 2 ~*afterparty*~

[escardos]

[ well, after everyone had their encounter either ghostbusting or being ghostbusted, and once returned to the campus, flat thinks that it's a great idea to wind down with-- ]

I FOUND A BOOTLEG COPY OF THE SHREK MOVIE. LET'S WATCH IT @ THE KARAOKE PLACE! BRING YOUR OWN SNACKS!!!!

[ hopefully it's not too cramped, but repurposing a tablet to project estelletube 'jim shrok FULL MOVIE part 1 of 20' is not that difficult of a task for flat.

he's managed to bring some popcorn, but that's about it.

rest up everyone, it's been a long day.

(for ya'll. flat had fun.) ]

Comments

[partymagician]

[ He flops down right next to Hien. ]

Good.

[ Fai pauses, looking at Hien for a while. ]

...The reason why you were so sore when we arrived is because a person that I've come to see as a son had taken me down.

[selfconcept]

I'm surprised that you didn't feel betrayed.

[ He wraps his arms around Fai again. ]

[partymagician]

How could I? It was out of his control.

[ He pauses, gathering his thoughts. ]

...Syaoran is a clone. His purpose is to gather feathers for his princess, Sakura. Nothing else matters outside of that goal. However, over time he started to grow his own soul, become his own person.

[ Fai closes his eyes, letting out a breath. ]

It was time for his soul to go away, but I didn't want that to happen. So... against my better judgement, I tried to bind it to him.

[selfconcept]

Then he reacted badly to it?

[ Wow. Can't believe clones are husks that eventually form souls. ]

cw eye scream

[partymagician]

I was too late. He had already changed. He... wasn't the Syaoran I've come to care for. So when he realized what I was doing, he knocked me down.

[ Fai pauses again. ]

He said he needed my magic and that he was going to take it. [ ... ] My magic is concentrated in my eyes. I left before he could do anything.

[ He shakes his head. ]

I can't fight him, Hien. I can't do it. I'll probably die from the shock when I go back.

cw suicidal ideation

[selfconcept]

Do you wanna die from that?

[ He thinks that tracks, given what they talked about earlier. ]

cw suicidal ideation

[partymagician]

At first, I did. I fully accepted the likelihood of dying.

[ ... ]

But now that I've had time away from it, I don't know. I've wanted to die for so long that I don't know what to do now that I'm not sure. Funny how that works, isn't it?

cw suicidal ideation

[selfconcept]

This is what you call "taking time away to get a clear head", so stop thinking that you wanna die. Stupid.

[ Hmph. ]

cw suicidal ideation

[partymagician]

It's not that easy, Hien. I've wanted to die ever since I was a child. I can't magically think differently.

[ But is he starting to work on some of those thoughts? Yes. ]

[selfconcept]

[ He wants to say that yes, Fai can magically think differently by using actu magic to alter his thoughts, but he supposes that's neither here nor there. ]

But are you working on it?

cw suicidal ideation

[partymagician]

I can try.

[ If he has someone pushing him, then he might be able to conquer those thoughts. If someone out there wants him to live, then he'll try to. ]

cw suicidal ideation

[selfconcept]

As long as you try.

[ It's what Hien really means, but using Fai's words from earlier? Yeah.

He just pulls him in to squeeze tighter. ]

Can't save someone who wants to die, you know.

[partymagician]

You're right.

[ He doesn't wrap his arms around Hien in turn, but Fai does lean against him.

... ]

If you ever want to talk about Ren, I'll listen.

[ But Fai will never take back what he said about that situation. He meant it. ]

[selfconcept]

... Not now. Later.

[ He's felt too much raw emotion recently. He needs a break. ]

You can ask again after Monday.

[partymagician]

There's no pressure. Tell me when you feel like you can.

[ Fai puts a hand on Hien's chest, lightly gripping the sweater. ]

You're not obligated to share that with me.

[selfconcept]

Stop saying shit like that.

[ He digs his chin on top of Fai's head. ]

It's annoying.

[partymagician]

[ Ahhhhhh he hates that feeling, shrinking down a little to get away from Hien's menacing chin. ]

I don't know what else to say.

[selfconcept]

Then don't say anything and hug me back, stupid.

[ Easy. ]

[partymagician]

You jerk.

[ But he does actually hug Hien back, although he wraps his arms tentatively around him at first. It doesn't take long, however, before Fai squeezes Hien as he buries his face in his chest. ]

[selfconcept]

Mm. The jerkiest jerk in the world.

[ Hien easily falls asleep after that. The pain of his entire body might come back after the 30 minute the sweater had allowed him, but it shouldn't hurt as much as it did before. ]