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theafflicted2022-05-28 05:58 am
afflictionmods) wrote in theafflicted2022-05-28 05:58 am
01.50 - week one, saturday
W1 SATURDAY
The first week of the Personal Enrichment Course draws to a close, which means it’s time for the first lesson. Hopefully by now you’ve gotten to know your classmates a bit better - but if you haven’t, that’s okay.
This first lesson is just going to be teamwork exercises, after all.
Bright and early Saturday morning, you wake up. Maybe you had a good night’s rest, or maybe you hardly got any sleep... Either way, the sun is shining, the day is beginning, and Lorelei's voice suddenly comes through everyone's tablets as well as the P.A. system on campus.
”Good morning. All students must report to the lecture hall by 8 o’clock for their first lesson. Lessons are mandatory. Please report to the classroom with its doors open.”
Which gives you about thirty minutes, so it’d be best to hurry. Do you want to be tardy? And if you think about bailing, well… you know what might happen if you fail the course.
When everyone gathers in the same hall they awoke in, Florence is there to greet you. They will gesture for everyone to take a seat, and once seated, the projector in the room turns on. Say hello to Lorelei and her usual cup of coffee.
“Good morning, everyone. Welcome to your first official exercise; today’s activities are designed to emphasize teamwork and cooperation so you are all more prepared for dealing with what’s yet to come. I have already split you into teams for the day, via raffle. There will be two activities total, and you will be completing them in the same teams. Regardless of whether you get along with your teammates or not, you’re going to have to figure out a way to finish each exercise successfully.”
She keeps that same calm, collected smile on her lips as she props up what appears to be a tablet of her own on her desk.
This first lesson is just going to be teamwork exercises, after all.
Bright and early Saturday morning, you wake up. Maybe you had a good night’s rest, or maybe you hardly got any sleep... Either way, the sun is shining, the day is beginning, and Lorelei's voice suddenly comes through everyone's tablets as well as the P.A. system on campus.
”Good morning. All students must report to the lecture hall by 8 o’clock for their first lesson. Lessons are mandatory. Please report to the classroom with its doors open.”
Which gives you about thirty minutes, so it’d be best to hurry. Do you want to be tardy? And if you think about bailing, well… you know what might happen if you fail the course.
When everyone gathers in the same hall they awoke in, Florence is there to greet you. They will gesture for everyone to take a seat, and once seated, the projector in the room turns on. Say hello to Lorelei and her usual cup of coffee.
“Good morning, everyone. Welcome to your first official exercise; today’s activities are designed to emphasize teamwork and cooperation so you are all more prepared for dealing with what’s yet to come. I have already split you into teams for the day, via raffle. There will be two activities total, and you will be completing them in the same teams. Regardless of whether you get along with your teammates or not, you’re going to have to figure out a way to finish each exercise successfully.”
She keeps that same calm, collected smile on her lips as she props up what appears to be a tablet of her own on her desk.
PRESENTATIONS
Group 3
Helloooo, Estelline U!
[Wink.]
Do you find yourself in troublesome times lately? Are you down in the dumps? Do you need a little pick-me-up?
[Shizuku jumps in:]
Or maybe you’re a little accident prone, or worried about yourself and your partner?
If that sounds like you, then we're here to solve all your biggest problems in one easy, convenient package!
Introducing the Wonderpiece 3000!
[Sabo stands between them now, holding up a picture of a flashlight, with the words WONDERPIECE 3000 (ﾉ>ω<)ﾉ ‥…━★:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆ carefully lettered above it. At the same time, Madara unveils the flashlight by pulling away the cloth covering it. He moves it slowly from one side to the other, just showing it off to the audience in his hand.]
The Wonderpiece comes with a wide array of features to make life easier, and to make you just a little more prepared for what life on campus may throw at you.
[The "slide" Sabo is holding is changed over to a diagram illustrated by Idia.]
Of course, while this may look like an ordinary flashlight on the outside, it does more than just shine a simple light in the dark!
That's right, Shizuku! It offers all the features you know and love in a real flashlight. "But that would be booooring, Mama!" That's right, it would be! So the Wonderpiece takes things to the next level with innovative features like multiple modes, color changing, projection capability, communication functions, and…
This gentle light does far more than entertain and help you see in the dark. Shine it upon yourself or another person, and the Wonderpiece will gently soothe and heal all your aches and injuries with a refreshing warmth. And if your aches come from a tired mind, dazzle yourself and others with stunning projections, ranging from anything you can imagine! Point the Wonderpiece towards a wall or ceiling, and it will show images or even play videos for you!
[Madara hands off the flashlight to Ace, who will proceed to demonstrate in pantomime with it. We hope.]
You've got it! If you're feeling a little wild, you can even use it to project a secret message, using our handy tablet app. Shine it on a book, and the words jump into your chosen language just like that! It truly can do everything. What's more, for the comfort and security of you and the new friends you've made, the Wonderpiece's light functions can be restricted to your eyes only with a twist of the focus ring. Switch it back to flood the surroundings with light, healing or not! Just flip a switch–it's that easy!
The Wonderpiece is also perfect for finding things, and not just in the dark. Flip the switch once more, and you’ll find that it can show you what’s in boxes or behind objects! This feature does not work on cloth, but cardboard, wood, stone and metal should work just fine.
And, if the going gets tough and the tough can't get going, you can use your flashlight as an always-handy weapon. Whether you shine it in an opponent's eyes, bonk them on the head, or take advantage of the stun mode inversion of the healing function, your fighting style is more than covered. Here at Wonder Industries, we take your needs seriously~!
[Hopefully this part of the demonstration is entertaining… They'd hate for it to be boring! But a dude pantomiming bonking someone on the head is fun, riiight?]
Order your Wonderpiece 3000 today! Until next time, I'm Shizuku!
And I'm Madara~! We'll see you then!
group 4 "but we still work"
[MUTSU SETS DOWN A BROKEN CLOCK ON THE TABLE. It still ticks, and stuck to it is a very unnecessarily detailed doodle of a poor, bloody clock with flames in the background for Reasons. (contributed by luci) ]
It might be broken but time stops for no one! While y’all were thinking of your own plans, I bet y’all were keeping track of time. Wonderin’ where it was going’! Time’s important so we all need a good… modern alarm clock!
[Opener delivered, he defers to his team mates who will all agree with him that the clock was broken when they already got it. Definitely.
so wei wuxian takes over, gesturing to the sad bell pieces on what used to be the top of the alarm clock. When he pokes it under the doodle, it kind of… falls off to the side. oops. at this point, grimnir probably has his face in his hands as well. ]
You know what would make it even better? If it didn’t destroy your eardrums every time you had to use it, because currently, this sounds worse than a rooster’s screech.
[ and you know he knows what a rooster screeching sounds like ]
Soooooo. [ dramatic slamming of hand on table or something because wei wuxian is a Dramatic Bitch and this is a presentation so, ] We are suggesting that there should be more bells. More whistles. Or you can choose whatever sound to wake you up from the sweet hold of sleep! Otherwise your day is just going to be ruined, isn’t it.
Right!
[ ryouma is just gonna help out wei wuxian a little since he’s talking about roosters and ryouma has more rooster-adjacent things to say. ]
Yes, it’s like a mechanical rooster, actually, with all the benefits of having a rooster without all the drawbacks of having a rooster! Like the rooster smell.
Plus, that means there’s gonna be way more roosters for dinner without worrying about if you’re not gonna get up on time in the morning because dinner was your wake up call, you know?
[ this is a good point, he’s sure, and he laughs! ]
Which is why it should definitely play you a nice little tune so that you wake up feeling good and refreshed when it’s time to start the day! Plus, there’s a prize for getting up on time!
[ he is not elaborating on the prize because it was something he threw in there on a whim and has no idea how that works but shhhhh. ]
[Mae steps forward next, pointing very emphatically at the clock.]
Another feature this clock should have? A snooze button! Why would you want to go back to sleep for a few minutes after it already woke you up? To teach responsibility!
All adults need encouragement to behave responsibly. [Or is that just Mae?]
Yes! Be more responsible!
[ ryouma yells from the back. ]
[And when everyone has finished, Mutsu speaks up and adds,]
Also… if we're talkin' about improvements and stuff. If ya think about it…
Isn't fixing the clock… literally makin' it better?
[CHECKMATE THANK YOU FOR LISTENING!!!!! ]
GROUP 1 (1/6 probably)
Well, one of the noisiest and slapdashymost of them all apparently gets chivvied up to the front of the pileup of People Who Do Not Quite Know If They Want To Be Here (or Who Know Exactly That They Do Not Want To Be Here); Tamamori grumbles and flails and almost drops the giant cardboard-or-whatever-board placard that he's been tasked with -- somehow it's been slightly crumpled and looks like something was spilled on it even though it's a clear sky and he hadn't even brought a Calspi this time (the more fool him).
Cleeeaaaring his throat--]
Hmph. I didn't volunteer for this, I'm just the one who writes the fastest, so there.
Anyway, this group... of visionaries, builders? People who really like money? Presents a whole-new type of tool: the only screwdriver that can be multi-headed, open your back door and the bank, blow away the competition, take you to new heights and fabulous lows!!
We present:
--The One, the Only, Multi-Headed, Multi-Dimensional, Multi-Divining Multi-size Multi-Million Screwdriver...!--
[... says Tamamori, at the same time that everyone else says:]
--Multipurpose Portable Solution to Your Everyday Problems--
--A Very Scientific Screwdriver--
--Asimov--
--Splitting Heaven's Sky Screwdriver--
--Open Everything Screwdriver--
[That's clearly all one name. They've nailed this. Or screwed it.]
......... OR WHATEVER. TAKE THIS, MY UNRIVALED PENMANSHIP AND IMAGINATION!!
[Thrusting his placard forward. It actually does have great strokes (Japanese, of course) of what purports to be calligraphy but is done with a marker and isn't any great shakes in the elegance department. It's readable. It's huge. It's as loud as its owner. There might be some bread crumbs and glitter stuck on the edges...?
It describes an extraordinary screwdriver that could grow as small as a thumbnail and as vast as the city of Paris. But most commonly it is used in sizes variant between a normal screwdriver and the size of a person (there is a rough drawing of what might be Florence, but with like, inexplicable antennae and wings, are they a bee); it could carry you forward if you rolled it or used various features, or you could use it to sweep aside foes, horses, and obstacles alike. The screwdriver might even be able to split its greater bulk into a hundred smaller screwdrivers, like a hill of hardworking ants in the mines of the world.
And thus, we have the One, the Only, Multi-Headed, Multi-Dimensional, Multi-Divining Multi-size Multi-Million Screwdriver. ☆]
2/6
You need nothing else as long as you have this screwdriver. Beyond its expected functions, it provides a number of life-changing functions, among them its use in lockpicking and a capacity to provide currency endlessly. The economy trembles upon its might!
[Welp. Having said that, he gestures at the rest of the placards]
Take a gander at the many versatile functions we propose for this invention. It's self-explanatory, so read the placards and be amazed!
[Taking the onus from everyone else and placing it on everyone. Just read the placards and you'll know all, yup]
3/??
We took into consideration the troubles everyone would have here and did our best to address those needs. No longer will you wander the fog, lost and confused. This screwdriver, with its very scientific Anemo - I mean, wind - function will dispel the fog and lead your way to freedom!
[ PS: COMPLETELY MAGIC-FREE!!! ]
4/6
Anyway, the first placard reads:]
Functionality equivalent to an automatic rifle. Magazine capacity of 30 7.62x39mm anti-personnel rounds, and the capability to fire at single, burst and full auto modes. Equipable with a laser sight, but not included with the screwdriver (sold as a separate accessory only).
[And the second one reads:]
Opens bottles (with a blade).
[He's giving the second placard a bit of a skeptical look.]
5/6
[ Placard reads:
Splitting Heaven's Sky Screwdriver
An incredible screwdriver that comes with an extremely scientific function of teleportation! Powered by an extremely convenient form of constant-generating electricity, when you press the red button on it, it activates the ability to transport someone from one place to another without any limitations in distance!
Wow, too bad that it can't be read because of the shitty handwriting... ]
Thank you for your time and attention.
[ Now that he's done with this he can go and catch up on his book...! ]
86/86
Open Everything Screwdriver [ Holding it in his left hand, lit cigarette in his right, he walks to the front and in the most deadpan voice possible: ]
It opens everything. [ And that's all he has to say, and he walks off. ]
GROUP 2, 1/2
Anyway.
Hien is the one presenting, so he's seen standing. ]
Hello.
[ This does not have the pep he showed on Friday to Florence (and everybody else that saw), but he seems like a salesman now. With "enthusiasm" shown for the product. ]
May I present to you, this magnificent hair spray brought to you by Estellair. Estellair has been known in Estelline for it never testing on animals, donating to charity, and making efficient products that combine many desirable factors into one single item. As you can see by the wonderous demo from the video that is being projected,
[ It's a demo of basically everyone getting tidied and spiffy with the hair spray. The end result is something you can see for yourselves at the rest of group 2. ]
you can see just how easy it is to apply. Moreover, if you believe you are clumsy and may accidentally spray it into your eyes, it has a no-tear solution. It is completely safe to accidentally spray in your eyes.
Asadisclaimeryoushouldnotpurposefullyspraythemintoyoureyesbecausethatwillbeyourownfault.
[ Anyway. ]
The hair spray also comes in a variety of scents, such as cake and fresh flowers. You may be able to suggest other scents them to the company too. If popular enough, they may just make one happen.
It is also semi-waterproof. It will not wash out in the rain, but it will if it has been thoroughly shampooed out during a shower. That way, you will have less things to worry about, like how the weather would be and would it be a nice idea to use the hair spray. The answer is always yes, it's always a good time to use the hair spray.
Moreover, instead of damaging your hair, it adds nutrients that ensures your hair will stay healthy and feel great to the touch.
no subject
If you're looking for something stress-free and easy that feels good, looks great, and smells even better, then this hairspray by Estellair is right for you! Whether you're simply going about your day or have an important event to attend, our hairspray will be there with you every step of the way!
Don't wait! Buy it today!
[ He ends the presentation with a wink. ]
Group 5
Then you're in luck, because we have designed—
[ Points to a blueprint-like illustration of an elaborate bag, with labels and text descriptions and some tables and a graph of some sort in that same incomprehensible language you've seen around this place a few times.
Unfortunately his handwriting sucks, so whether google translate can actually help you here... it's probably hit or miss. ]
The ideal all-purpose inventory bag.
Made from a durable synthetic fabric that resists both flame and water and won't pill or tear, this bag will serve you well even in the harshest conditions. It has a biometric lock on the top that unlocks with a retinal scan, angled in such a way that it can be easily unlocked with a simple look whether it's in front of you or at your side, allowing quick access to your medicinal items in the middle of battle with no need to remove your gloves. However, there is also a manual lens cover that can be closed and opened as you wish to prevent any accidental unlocking.
Its interior is larger than it appears from the outside, and has six separate compartments for keeping your items organized. Some will have extra padding, and one will be insulated for cold food storage. A customizable voice control feature will allow you to simply tell it which compartment you need to access, and it will give you just what you need.
Initially it will be available only in black, but we may consider an option for customizable colors in the future.
[ For an additional fee, of course. ]
Please come talk to me after the presentations if you have any questions. Thank you.
[ Smiles and bows. ]