w3 afterparty

[selfconcept]

Everyone passed! That's great! But Wei Wuxian is gone and you keep getting a weird feeling. Maybe it's the adrenaline that's dying down. Maybe you saw something strange because you're tired? It'll all be uncovered on Sunday. Why not take a breather for now? If you're injured, ask Florence for some medical aid. (can be handwaved) It's around 10 PM when you're released.

Comments

[cheerfuldays]

( why does she suddenly feel a little like a bully... )

You've been looking out for me all this time. Of course I do.

[selfconcept]

Well, I try.

[ He even almost gets huffy at that, but he's too tired. ]

Not gonna just stand there and watch a kid get hurt.

[cheerfuldays]

And it's going to shape how I see you, silly! Though... truth be told, you had something in your favor when we first met. You reminded me of a few special friends of mine, in a way.

[selfconcept]

I did?

[ He's not sure whether he should be worried, or... ]

[cheerfuldays]

Mmmhm. ... I thought you were like them at first, actually. They have mechanical voices. ... They exist in a pocket dimension born from feelings- a SEKAI. The one I know them from is built from my own and my new group's desire to be an idol despite everything. Miku, Rin and Luka are there to teach us, and help us when we can't navigate our thoughts or feelings.

... I realized you weren't one of them quickly. But you still look out for me, and the others my age. You helped me with a lot this week, too.

[selfconcept]

[ Huh. A pocket dimension. And moreover, it's built with the purpose to help similar like minded kids in trouble?? That's... rare. ]

You must want to be an idol that much, huh...

[cheerfuldays]

Mhm. Minori was on auditon number 50, and Haruka and Airi had reluctantly quit for different reasons. ... I was being... harassed, by the others in my group, and was considering giving up despite loving the job. We all wanted to be idols, despite it all... but it was hard, too.

[selfconcept]

[ ...

Hien looks at her evenly, closes his eyes, and then opens them again. ]

What does being an idol mean to you, Shizu?

[cheerfuldays]

To me, it's someone who brings hope to those who hear my songs. That... tomorrow will be a little better, that if they keep trying they can do what they want. That they'll find the sort of love I sing about, and even if those things aren't happening right now, they can still smile.

( some might consider her naive for that, she knows this. but this is what airi told her, and it's a definition that she wants to embody. )

[selfconcept]

[ Hien listens to her. It's hopeful, yeah. He's been on that end before—hoping until he couldn't hope anymore, giving hope to someone in an impossible situation, and the like. He has a very strong relationship with hope, and perhaps he's lucky that he hasn't met the actual Concept of Hope yet either. ]

Have you ever been affected by idols yourself who embody similar concepts?

[cheerfuldays]

Mm... yes. Airi... my best friend. She's in MMJ with me- she's the one who inspired me to keep trying when I was scared at the start of it all, back when we were in different groups.

( airi's her hero. her own idol. and in turn, shizuku is airi's. together they work in tandem, gently pushing and pulling each other onward. )

[selfconcept]

I see.

[ She seems happy. It's all that matters to him. ]

As long as that makes you happy, I'm glad.

[cheerfuldays]

( shizuku smiles, chin in hands as she leans against the table. )

I am. I hope someday I can show everyone how we are on stage together. The others here, I mean.

... What do you think of idols though, Hien?

( since he was asking... she's curious now! )

[selfconcept]

... Being an idol is a hard job. It's a dream that motivates the youth.

[ And for the adults to make cash. ]

It takes a lot of effort, and sometimes you can't get in anyway. But they inspire many people through tough times, as you said. And I think... as long as there are some people who perform idol activities with that in mind, it won't be so bad. It's a way to save people, without getting close to them.

[cheerfuldays]

( shizuku nods, humming in agreement. )

That's what I love most about it. If my songs can help someone... then I'll be satisfied. And if I can sing with MORE MORE JUMP, I can sing for as long as I'm able.

( even if after all of this, she'll be acutely aware of what she's sacrificing for her status as an idol... ... she committed to the decision twice now. she won't back down again. )

[selfconcept]

[ Hien looks pleased for a moment, but also very tired. ]

Shizu, has anyone ever told you that you're like a shining star?

[cheerfuldays]

( shizuku straightens up a little, eyes wide almost before she smiles- there's a certain warmth that comes from his praise, even if her first instinct is to deny the compliment. )

... Thank you, Hien. Ah... but I don't think I've heard that, before.

[selfconcept]

Really?

[ Hien looks genuinely surprised despite the exhaustion. ]

I thought it'd be something you get told often to the point you're tired of hearing it.

[cheerfuldays]

Ah- no, that's more... "You were born to be an idol". ( there's a certain something in her tone, but she smiles again quickly enough. ) I've always been a bit... bad, at taking compliments. But that was sweet. It really made me feel special.

[selfconcept]

[ Well, Hien would also say Shizuku is the poster child of the bright and hardworking teenage idol, so... they're not wrong. ]

Yeah? I'm glad. I'm not good at taking compliments either, so I get it.

[ Only because if they insist that he's nice, he's not nice for the sake of being nice... ]

[cheerfuldays]

( they're not. but when it becomes less of a compliment and more of a charged attack, a dismissal of all that she does and more... then it becomes a little harder to hear. and that's what leaves her here, unable to accept compliments for more than a couple hours before her mind starts turning and twisting-

but she thinks nothing could bring this one down. )

I suppose that despite everything, I've always been a little on the shyer side in this aspect. ... What kind of things do you not like hearing?

( so she can avoid them. )

[selfconcept]

They they hate themselves.

[ Without a doubt, no hesitation—it's something that Hien says immediately. ]

... I'm not a being who's nice to say that people should love and accept each other without respect to anything else. It's a hard thing to do. I can acknowledge that. However, for someone who is forced to embody the concept of self, it makes me unreasonably irritated, because it's the feeling of rejection that I suffer over and over.