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[selfconcept]

Congratulations! You survived the first week of Personal Enrichment Class! Or at least, your body did if you feel like astral projecting. It's time to mingle with your fellow students after the Saturday lesson. Maybe get revenge. Or maybe you're going to your room right away. Either way, it's free time! Let loose. Go wild.

Comments

[selfconcept]

No. Disappointing people happens on a regular basis, so I won't be surprised if you would be too.

[ After all, he's nice. That's the thing. They think he's nice, but as soon as he partakes in some sort of violence, they're disappointed that he wasn't who they thought he was.

It doesn't seem to bother Hien anyway. ]

[partymagician]

Then what had you staring off into space like that? Hmmm?

[ He leans toward Hien, legs still crossed so it's a bit of an awkward position, so he can poke his cheek. ]

[selfconcept]

Just thought to myself that you're gonna eat your words.

[ Gonna get disappointed. ]

[partymagician]

Most things don't end up disappointing me, you know.

[ Call it low expectations, but it's the truth. ]

Truthfully, I don't know what you could do that would disappoint me.

[selfconcept]

I warned you.

[ He shrugs, since Fai gets it by now. ]

The following week's activities are gonna be like the stuff we just did, but harder.

[ That's what he got from the closing remarks. ]

The kids are gonna have a hard time, huh...

[partymagician]

[ Fai pokes Hien's cheek a couple more times for good measure before withdrawing. ]

They are. That's why we need to do our best to help them through it.

[ Some of the older people here still might struggle, but a few of them have had plenty of time to get used to the painful things in life.

... ]

I assume you're willing to do that much?

[selfconcept]

Don't hold that sort of expectation against me.

[ His voice comes out quieter than usual for that. ]

[partymagician]

I won’t expect you to be successful, especially when I might not be either.

[ He takes a sip of coffee.

The quietness of Hien’s voice makes him wonder if the source of his sadness might make it too hard on him. ]

…But if it’s too hard for you to try, I understand.

[selfconcept]

My success rates are pretty low with everything so not even I would expect to be successful, despite my earlier words.

[ He doesn't go into something and expect to fail, yet he knows his success rates are low. He just keeps trying and trying and trying—

You will never be satisfi▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ]

...

[ Instead of a deep sadness, there seems to be a neverending pit of emptiness that settles into his stomach. Unfortunately, Fai gets to feel that same emptiness in himself. ]

[partymagician]

[ Oh. That… that’s an awful feeling. It’s also a feeling he’s never had, so it’s easy to place that as Hien’s.

Fai’s breath hitches as he feels himself momentarily overwhelmed by that emptiness.

What can he do about it? He isn’t sure, but he knows that he needs to do something at the very least. ]

…

[ Fai reaches over to grab Hien’s hand, gently holding onto it. ]

[selfconcept]

[ Hien doesn't react for a while, but after several seconds, his hand reciprocates the hold after moving it around so that it's doable. The silence lingers for a little longer before he decides to speak up. ]

... Softie.

[ He doesn't look at Fai's face, but his expression is the same as ever. The emptiness seems to have gone away though, so Fai can tell himself that he succeeded. ]

[partymagician]

[ He laughs softly. That emptiness no longer weighing so heavily in the pit of his stomach is telling. ]

So are you.

[selfconcept]

Hmph.

[ Hien scoots a little closer to Fai and rests the side of his head on Fai's shoulder. ]

Then I guess we'll be softies together.

[partymagician]

[ There might be a slight spike of anxiety from him when Hien rests on him like that, but Fai tries to keep it under control. While the temptation to run away is there, thanks to affection like this being intimidating, he doesn't. That would just make Hien feel even worse, after all. ]

Now that doesn't sound so bad! I think I can live with that. Sounds like you can too.

[selfconcept]

... Yeah.

[ He quietly breathes out. ]

You can live with this too?

[ The head resting on shoulders thing. He doesn't need pain share to feel anxiety from Fai. He can tell, mostly because he already knows Fai's situation. ]

[partymagician]

...Do you like it?

[ He probably does, considering that Hien initiated it in the first place. ]

[selfconcept]

Yeah, it's nice. I like it.

[ No hesitation. ]

You didn't answer my question though. I know that you already know that I like this.

[partymagician]

...And you can tell that I'm not used to this.

[ Putting his hands on people—grabbing their elbows, touching their shoulders, grabbing their wrists—is easy for Fai, but extended affection like this is new. It feels strange, for someone who is so touchy. ]

I can live with it.

[selfconcept]

Good. I'll take that as invitation to do it again. And you can do it whenever you want to.

[ He smiles a little and closes his eyes, taking in the comfort in his current situation. ]

[partymagician]

Is my shoulder comfortable at least?

[ He would hope so... even if he's a little bony. ]

[selfconcept]

[ Hien lifts his head off Fai's shoulder and gives him a dead look. ]

You ask that now? Damn, read the room.

[ It's his way of saying yes. It was comfortable. ]

[partymagician]

[ Wow!! Rude!!

Fai just smirks. ]

Oh, such a feisty puppy!

[selfconcept]

I'm not a puppy.

[ He almost growls at him for that too. ]

Also, you called me by my name earlier. I'm never gonna forget that.

[partymagician]

Never?

[ So absolute...

Fai settles back against the bench, giving Hien a sidelong glance. ]

You said that it was inevitable that I would grow closer to people here short of being a hermit, right? There's nothing I can do, so I may as well use your name.

[selfconcept]

Good. I like the progress. Also... you're not really being a hermit. We got an actual hermit.

[ Idia. ]